Session Four: Prayer and our Conversion

On 3rd May 2007 I was baptised in the Catholic Church and received Confirmation and Holy Communion. I will forever be known as a convert. However, in truth, we are all converts; and, we are all called to ever deeper conversion - to allow the Gospel to reach more and more deeply into our hearts.

When we speak of conversion, we normally mean that someone has had a basis shift in his or her relationship with God - normally with some outward sign, such as becoming Catholic, or returning to the practice of his or her faith after a period of not practising. This type of conversion I will refer to as Conversion (I).

There is, though, another important sense in which we can speak of conversion. Our hearts are in a constant state of conversion, moving closer to, or further away from, God. A life conversion (conversion I) may constitute a significant stride towards God - but both beforehand and afterwards the movements of conversion go on. This process of moving slowing ever closer to God I will call Conversion (II). We are all called to this form of conversion, wherever we are in our spiritual walks.

It may be helpful to think of the spiritual life as a mountain. At the top of the mountain is God in all His glory. At the bottom is the earthly city. Human beings move up and down the mountain.

1. God in all His glory stands for total self-giving. The doctrine of the Trinity contains the mystery that the Father pours out the totality of Himself to the Son, and the Son pours out the totality of Himself to the Father. This mutual self-giving is so powerful that the Love that flows between the Father and the Son is another person - the Holy Spirit. That is a very brief explanation of the Trinity. The key point is that God is communion of love. The goal of the Christian life is to participate in this communion of love.
2. At the bottom of the mountain is the earthly city, which stands principally for the Ego (as opposed to total self-gift at the top of the mountain). The inward focus on the Ego is what we call Pride, and its consequence is self-centredness. Conversion (I) occurs when a person decides to leave the earthly city and ascend the mountain to God.
3. Human beings move up and down the mountain. The journey of faith requires a continual movement upwards.
• When we come onto the mountain, it is wreathed in mist, and the way up is not very clear. However, rather than give up, we call out to God. Our voice echoes upwards, we pause and listen, and then faintly we hear a voice echoing on the wind. We move towards it. This is the life of prayer.
• There may be other people on the mountain. Some seem to be just trying to find their own way, some are heading up very quickly, sadly, some are heading back down towards the earthly city.
• As we climb, following the voice on the wind, we notice we are overtaking others who are trying to find their way up without calling out to God. 
4. As we climb up the mountain we notice certain changes happen within us. This is Conversion (II); we are moving nearer to the glory of God, and as we do so, we are being changed by our coming nearer to His Presence.
5. The mountain is wreathed in mist because of human sin, which has obscured the clear vision of God, which man enjoyed in the beginning. We have to move towards Him now without the clear light of vision.
6. For this reason we often have difficulty hearing God in prayer, but in Faith we believe He is still there the other side of the mist, and that the voice we are listening to on the wind, is His.
7. A significant part of the early Conversion (II) that happens on the mountain occurs when we realise we have brought too much with us.
• We realise we have brought a lot of unnecessary things with us, and that if we are going to make it to the top of the mountain, we need to leave them behind, because they are weighing us down.
• This is the purification from mortal, or deadly sin. These are deliberate thoughts, words, actions or omissions, which are seriously contrary to the Divine Law, which we freely commit, knowing that they are contrary to the Divine Law.
• When we do these things, we turn away from our journey up the mountain and face downwards towards the earthly city, once more.
• We will never get to the top of the mountain while we are facing back to the earthly city, therefore we have to let go of these things and leave them behind, if we are to journey to God.
• Letting go of these things, we climb much more easily up the mountain. However, as we get further and further up, we come to a point where we find we even want to let go of the necessary things we brought with us - or the things we thought were necessary. We begin to let go of them, until we find ourselves on the mountain, with nothing left but our faith in God, following that faint voice on the wind.
• This is the purification of venial sins, or all those sins which are not mortal. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin which is not mortal. (1 John 15.17)

At this point in the journey up the mountain we will pause until the next session. However, it is necessary to make a few points about the journey so far.

Purification is the Result of Love

On the journey we have looked at so far, a significant purification has taken place. We have left the earthly city, we have left behind all the things which we brought with us from the earthly city - both necessary and unnecessary. These all stand for the purification from sin, which takes place in the Christian life.

It needs, though, to be emphasised that this purification comes about as a result of an increase in love for God, which comes about as a result of our increased nearness to God the higher we ascend the mountain. If we live lives open to God, frequent the sacraments regularly, pray daily and seek to live in accordance with truth & charity then our love for God grows, and this brings about conversion in our lives.

The Life of Faith is about Love, not Sin

The life of faith, is therefore, principally about my love for God, not overcoming sin - although that is a consequence of my love for God.

The Church teaches that those who die in a state of mortal sin go to hell (Catechism of the Catholic Church, para. 1033). However, the way some people explain this to themselves, is that a) someone commits a mortal sin. b) therefore, God hates them, and c) therefore, God sends them to Hell. This is, of course, false reasoning. A person who commits serious sin, doesn't love God - with his or her whole will he or she has turned away from God. If he or she doesn't love God, then he or she would not want to go to heaven, because heaven is all about God. As long as life endures however, there is the possibility of repenting of this decision and turning back to God.

What should be clear, though, is that overcoming sin is about coming to state where we remain habitually in our LOVE of God; it's not about learning to follow some arbitrary rules.

The Lure of the Earthly City

There will always be are part of us which would like to turn around and go back to the earthly city, which we remember. The temptation may wax and wane, but it will likely always be there. The question is not, therefore, whether we completely love God and hate the world (or visa versa) - the question is which do we want more? The only way to answer that is to ask God to show you whether you are moving up the mountain, or down.

Key Points

• Ongoing conversion is a necessary part of growth in the Christian life.
• This process occurs because as we come nearer to God, His Presence changes us.

Next Step
1. Can I answer the questions on the Handout?
2. Listen to a brief discussion of the material covered above.
2. Now spend 20 minutes (or more) in silence using the prayer exercise on 'Centering Prayer' on the handout.